Going Strong No Matter What
I'm just a young woman on a journey to change her life. I'm proof you don't need trainers or wieght loss vacations to change your life just motivation and hard work!
Saturday, April 28, 2012
Wow way to long.
That is actually what led me to do today's blog. Unfortunately I am not the type of person that can just blog everyday about nothing. I kind of use my blog as a free therapist so something has to bug me in order to blog about it.
We are officially at the two year mark of my weight loss journey, I'm down 215 lbs, lord knows how many inches, from a size 32 jeans to a size 14/16 jeans and from 3x shirt to a size medium shirt. I can now borrow clothes from most of my girlfriends and I feel better, stronger, there is still a lot I can't do (namely correct lunges and my squats need to get much better) and a whole lot I want to accomplish as I work off the last 50-80 lbs (like push ups ON MY TOES and a pull up and pistol and a Turkish get up) but what I can do now is far from what I could do two years ago.
So a couple of nights ago I was talking to a guy that I have been seeing on and off through out my entire weight loss journey and he said something that shocked me. When I met him I had probably lost maybe 30 or 40 lbs I was still big, very big in comparison to how I look now, I was in size 28 jeans when I met him (and proud of it at the time!) , so a couple of nights ago he tells me "I'm proud of what you have accomplished but I loved how you looked when we first met". I was blown away.
You would think being told this would be a great thing, an 'oh he really likes me for me' type thing. It really wasn't though. When you truly care for someone you want what is best for them, and me being that big was not what was best for me. My really smart, good friend (who can't stand the guy cause he makes me cry a lot ) said he doesn't miss how you looked, he misses your lower self confidence. Now maybe she's right, or maybe she's not. I don't know, honestly whatever reason he like me more at 390 than he does at 215 doesn't matter, what matters is that he doesn't care about what is best for me. This is why loving a person with a weight problem is so hard.
When they are big how do you be encouraging without being mean? When they start losing weight how do you handle what happens with the physical change?
It has to be hard for a man how is married or in a committed relationship watch his woman lose weight, because every one that does it comes out of their shell a little bit. How should you handle it? Just love the person, let her go buy that short, hot dress and then offer to take her to the movies and show her off. She loves you, she's not doing this to find another man, she's doing it so she looks and feels good for you and more importantly for herself.
How do you help your girl or guy who needs to get healthy? Start being healthy yourself, you can't make ANYONE change their lifestyle, you can however change yours and lead by example.
I've always said all along i am not doing this because of how I look. Honestly at 400 pounds i had an EASIER time getting men it seems than I do now, but it's about me and my health. So even though I really care for this guy, I care for me more and I have be in a relationship with myself for way longer. I'll never go back to being unhealthy for anyone, because this is something I'm doing for myself and I'll always go strong no matter what!
Saturday, February 11, 2012
Long Time no Post!
Sooooooo I kinda hit a wall my weight loss dropped from 3 pounds a week to around one or two, this fall in comparison to the summer, so i decided the time had come to do something different. I joined a new gym and got a personal trainer. I've been doing it now for a month and the results are in! I lost 12 pounds, 1 inch in my chest, 1.5 inches in my waist, 2.5 inches in my hips, 3.5 inches in my thighs and 1 inch in my calves ( I gained an inch in my biceps, but I have have kinda thin arms so that's okay that's muscle!) for a total of 8.5 inches lost. The big shocker was my body fat percentage, it went from 45.3 % to 28.5% ( I made my trainer do it twice to make sure it was correct) I lost 16.8% body fat!
I am a happy girl right now, I worked hard this month. Pushed myself in ways I didn't think I could push myself and it was amazing! I'm even more excited for the next month, I found a kettlebell training place (kettlebells are something I am extremely passionate about) and in one evaluation session I learned so much of what i was doing incorrectly. So I'll also be doing that three days a week.
My goal for next month, is another 12 pounds, I'd like to lose at least 10 inches and another 2-4% body fat. Of course if it doesn't happen it's okay, as long as I tried my best I'm happy!
How is everyone doing this month? Are we keeping up with our goals? Are we working as hard as we did on January first? If not, get back on that horse, this weight is not gonna come off by itself, you've got to remember to go strong no matter what, even on your bad days!
Love you guys!
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Going Out and Having Fun!! (With No Guilt)
First I'm gonna tackle the movies, I don't snack at movies at all. No popcorn, No candy and I buy an overpriced bottle of water to drink. I know it sounds impossible, but honestly you are going to ingest 500 plus calories mindlessly during the movie and you just don't need it. First rule of thumb don't go to the movies hungry. Eat dinner first whether at home or a restaurant those calories are going to be better for you calories (nutrient rich) than a bucket of popcorn and a pound of red hots and if you're full then the smells won't make you as hungry and it will be easier to say no. If you absolutely NEED popcorn get a small one, no extra butter, no extra salt, it's plenty buttery and plenty salty all on it's own.
Next drinks, drinking probably won't make you put on weight but it does inhibit weight loss. So here are few tips to drink caloricly responsibly (because we all know not to drink and drive right? I hope so!) Don't drink a whole lot, we don't need to plastered to have a good time, I have three drink maximum on a night out that's enough now I'm not able to drive, but I'm not falling down drunk and its probably about 400 calories I ingested here, that's my snack maximum for the day. Also if you get plastered and you feel like crud the next day you aren't gonna want to work out, so not only did you you drink lots and lots and lots of calories, you don't burn them off the next day, that is bad, bad , bad. So three drinks, no hang over and work out the next day! Now what should you drink? No beer, not even light beer, honestly beer is liquid bread, are you going to eat a whole loaf of bread while on a diet? NO, so don't drink it either. If you loooove beer, have one, only one and make it a light one. Clear alcohols are the best, light rums, vodka, gin these have the least amount of calories and are always good mixed with a diet drink. Margaritas, i love me a margarita, most restaurants have a skinny version, this is great! TGIFridays has two skinny margaritas both only 130 calories. This is how you don't blow your work out at the bar :)
Dining out. When you go to a restaurant be smart okay? First ask yourself how much do I eat out, if your answer is once or twice a month go for it, treat yourself don't worry about it, that Alfredo pasta is not gonna kill you, you are good the other 28-29 days out of the month. If your answer is more like mine and you go out to eat 3 to 4 times a week (dinners and lunches, I told you I had an active social calender) you need to be more aware of what you eat. Stay away from cream sauces and fried foods. Eat lots of salads (not salads with fried chicken on top) and soups. Soups are a good way to one fill you up because it has lots of water and not get a lot of calories. The soups need to broth based not cream based, so get the minestrone over the cream of potato soup. Sandwiches are good, anything covered in gravy is bad (I'm from the south). Baked potatoes are good, make sure it's small about 5 ounces if you get cheese no sour cream, if you get sour cream not cheese. Veggie plates are great, at Chilli's i get the veggie tacos, super good very filling and I don't eat all the tortillas. Skip the desert, get some coffee instead. :)
Can you go out and have fun? YES and you should. If all you do is work, gym, home you aren't living and the whole purpose of being healthy is to live a better life. I believe in living in the moment, so if I REALLY want some pasta and white sauce I'll get it, but i am also aware I will have to put an extra hour on the treadmill the next day to work it off. So go out, have fun, but have fun responsibly and you won't have to stress about the extra calories. Always go strong no matter what!! :)
Saturday, December 17, 2011
Progress Report Time (and other nifty stuff)
Wednesday, December 14, 2011
Shopping Thinner!!!
Shopping at 430lbs was a challenge, but I still loved it. I never got weepy or sad when I went shopping, there was just less of a selection. Don't get me wrong it sucked that the ONLY place I could buy jeans was Lane Bryant and only one style of those jeans AND they were getting tight. I always thought I looked good, and I liked to dress well. Dressing well when you are big is very expensive, I would do it but it made things difficult.
Now I'm no longer a size 30 jean (yes I said size 30, not the inches size, in inches i had a waist of of about 50 inches and hips of about 63 inches.) I'm a size 14 - a size 18 jean depending on where I buy them and I haven't been inside Lane Bryant in at least two months.
So like everything else in my life I'm having to learn how to shop thinner. Before if I tried on something cool and fashion forward if it fit i was ecstatic and I bought it. Nothing probably looked good on me per say, but if it didn't look horrible I got it. Now that I have a better selection I am more choosy in what I buy. Most shirts fit me now, I'm a size Large to Medium and I can pretty much walk into ANY store and find something that will fit, that I like, that I can buy and it is the most liberating feeling in the world.
Being thinner is also saving me money, the cheapest jeans at Lane Bryant are 50 bucks, now I can get a pair at most stores and I don't spend over 30 bucks now. I go shopping a lot with a friend of mine who is a size 4 and I am still amazed that we can both go into Macy's and find the same dress for both of us her in an XS and me in a Large. I had never been able to do that before. I love it! I am a fashionista at heart and it is nice to become more normal sized and being able to find clothes easier.
For me being able to buy smaller clothing is a huge motivator. No doubt in my mind at the end of this journey I am going to be a curvy girl, my boobs are still big (36 DD) and I have a big butt, the more I climb the StairMaster the rounder and higher and bigger it seems to get. I now have a 37 inch waist and 47 inch hips, which is a lot of inches down. I can't wait till my jeans aren't plus size at all ( I want to be a general size 8 pant) and I can buy EVERYTHING on sale.
Shopping is one of the things I take great pleasure in being smaller, it may not bring you the same kind of pleasure, the trick is to find what makes you happy and what you like to do smaller that you couldn't do heavier, maybe it's running or playing with your kids, or maybe it's bedroom time with you spouse. Whatever it is find it, embrace it, and don't let it go because it will help you maintain your healthier lifestyle and it will help keep you going strong no matter what!!!
Benchmarking Our Lives
I don't want this to sound all woe is me, because that's not me. I love my life, I love who I am, I love what I've accomplished but I can't help but feel left out at times. I've decided to put my school kind off again this semester (I'm only going to go part time) because I really need to finish getting my final 80 lbs off before my 30th birthday in six months. I kind of feel like I'm prolonging my real life by doing this, but I also know it would be a wasted semester anyway.
Being on this journey I have learned about so much more than just how to lose weight and keep it off. This journey has taught me so much about life, love, relationships, people and how I fit into this world. I've reached a point in my life where a LOT of my close friends are finding their soul mates and getting married and are having babies, and I am happy for them but a part of me is like hey what about me! We tend to benchmark our lives, a lot like I mark my weight loss, however life does not work on a schedule. Even if I had finished school at 21 or 22 I still wouldn't be were my friends are in their personal lives because how can you share your life with someone if you don't know who you are? That was me my entire 20's, living day to day slowly sabotaging myself because I didn't know who I was.
" Life doesn't deal the hand you want, it deals the hand you need. Whether you believe it, accept it, want it or not, it is what it is. Be content with your own hand. STOP trying to rush life, just let it happen. Learn to live out the life dealt. What will be, will be!"-Antonio Talbert
I think that quote is perfect, one of my best friend's in the world who is marrying her Prince Charming in May constantly talks about wanting to send a thank you card to all her Ex-Boyfriends thanking them for not wasting her time and teaching her what not to look for. I think this is kind of great. I don't regret anything in my life, because I learned from it. I learned I was really unhappy at 430 pounds and that i wasn't living I was existing. No more existing for me, I'm going to live. I'm going to have that amazing full filling career, plan and had have that ridiculously expensive wedding to my Prince Charming when he does decide to appear and sweep me off my feet and I will have a couple of great kids. I just probably won't have them by 30 and that's okay. It's my life and I make the rules.
Life is hard, no one promises you happiness you have to find it. Do I know exactly what I want? Not completely, but I know I know myself a little bit better now at 245lbs than I did at 430lbs, so things change and I'm single at 29 years old and that's okay. I'm almost done with school, am I gonna go to medical school like was my mom's dream? Nope and I'm totally okay with that I'm gonna work on making me happy and when I am happy that's when I know this journey will be over. So here is to the next six months, because by July 12th, the day I turn 30 I will be 180 pounds (or darn close to it) and I will know more about me and I will be one day closer to the rest of my life. So here's to never settling, never giving up (or figuring out) our dreams and going strong no matter what.