Being Selfish

Hey guys, soo it's been forever since I updated, I'm having Internet problems at home, but I'm hoping they will be fixed by Monday so I can update more often. So much has happened this week and I'm like " I wanna blog about this" and then can't get online so yeah, here is to fixed Internet!


So yesterday my mom and I are driving to the pool to swim laps for an hour and she made a comment that I was self-centered, talk about hurting my feelings! It's okay though she was a little bit right, because in order to make the changes I have made in my life I need to be a little bit self centered. No one else can go to the gym for me, do the work for me, deal with the pain of sore muscles and muscle pulls for me, nor can they truly benefit from the success for me. Beyond appreciating the aesthetic no one can feel my heart pumping better, or the pain free long walks but me.

Unfortunately I am the type of person that has a very hard time saying no, I also have a lot of responsibilities. Flat out I am never home and I love that, but of course this causes problems at home (don't worry i have no children I am neglecting, just parents who feel neglected at times). I love spending hours on end in the gym, I love helping my friends with their workout goals, pushing them and them pushing me. I love my jobs and I love to work hard and play hard. Just like my new body, my new attitude on life is going to have some growing pains.

The biggest difference I feel in my life is I feel like I am finally living my life for myself, and I don't think I have ever done that before. Of course we can't 100% be all about ourselves all the time we all have people in our lives we take care of, but we cannot allow that care taking to rule our lives. Maybe one of the reasons I got so big is because I did not care enough about me to change it.

This post maybe a little to harsh and brutal to put on the Internet, but I refuse to sugar coat this journey. Just like when I was big if you didn't like how i looked you are more than welcome to look in the other direction, now it's if you don't like my attitude you don't have to hang around me. I think the easiest part to losing weight is the actual losing of the weight, that's just a scientific calculation, it's all the emotional, social stuff that I am struggling with. Nothing in life that is worth doing is easy. My favorite quote is from Saint Catherine of Siena "Nothing great is ever achieved without much enduring." This is so true, this journey wouldn't be worth it without all the pain, sweat and tears. So just remember to go strong no matter what, I know I am.