Hey y'all,
So if you ask anyone I am an upbeat, bubbly full of life kind of girl. Always have a smile on my face but this week has been kind of hard on me. Without boring you with details there's been some family issues and some romance issues and this week was just hard. I think a lot of people would use this time to not go to the gym and I didn't, i don't think you should either.
You know they say when life gives you lemons make lemonade. Well I'm not always up for the lemonade, and sometimes the bitterness of the lemon teaches us not to forget important lessons in life. I guess this week me and my lemons went to the gym! When your feeling down working out is good, it raises endorphins and I don't know about anyone else but I always feel accomplished after a good hard work out, way more accomplished than I would feel bumming on the couch eating bon bons.
So when you hit rough patches in life (and we all do) don't let the rough patches take you away from your goals. Don't stop being active, having a fight with your husband go for a walk, clear your mind a bit and maybe you will see things better. I just know that in the past a week like this would have just brought me really low and I wouldn't have wanted to do anything, but I knew for my body that just wasn't the right thing. So i went to the gym and tried my hardest to literally exercise some of my inner demons out. It didn't work, but I lost two pounds this week so i did some good.
Next week at the gym I'm really gonna amp up my workout. Here lately I've been doing only about 1.5 hours of cardio and about 45 min of resistance. I'm gonna try my hardest to do 2 hours of cardio (stair master for an hour and run for an hour) and then an hour of resistance, plus my swimming 3 days a week. I need to shift my minds focus off of things I can't change and on to things I can which is my workouts. So this week is gonna be an experiment (hey I'm not a scientist for nothing). Let's see how my calves love me come next Friday, hopefully they are still speaking to me!
So lets just all try and remember to not let things bring us so far down that we stop pursing our goals. I'm not just talking work outs here, if your having a bad week don't skip class, or work, go on like nothing is wrong because in the end if you skip out on your life the only person you are hurting is yourself. So like my mom always said fake it till you make it and always go strong no matter what! Love you guys!
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Saturday, October 15, 2011
Fitness!!!!!
Hey guys! How was every one's week? I'm still having Internet issues so the only computer access I have is at work right now bummer, but I'm hoping that changes this week (hoping!). Anyway I hope everyone had as good a week as I had, I lost five pounds! Woo hoo time to celebrate. Now i know my body and any week I have a big loss is going to be followed by a week of little to no weight loss. Its totally okay, the numbers on the scale while important are not near as important as being fit.
So Wednesday my grandmother calls me to ask me what I want for Christmas, my reply, kettlebells. To which my grandmother responds kettle-what? What are you cooking (I come from a group of very domesticated kitchen-orientated women) and why would a kettle be shaped like a bell? I told her noooo nana a kettlebell is this exercise tool I use it is basically a canon ball with a handle. The Russians developed it to train their army and man is it a good training tool. Unlike dumbbells the kettlebell's center of mass is extended beyond the hand, allowing for swinging movements. What is so amazing about a kettlebell workout is it engages your core, strengthens your back, legs, shoulders and arms and is a resistance and cardio workout in one. For an hour's work you do what should have probably taken two hours.
I recommend the kettlebells to anyone a man or a woman. They vary in weight from 3lb all the way to 35lbs so as you get stronger all you have to do is move up in weight (i'm actually going to buy a 15lb kettlebell this week, I'm currently using a 10lbs one). You don't have to spend any money on videos to teach yourself how to use a kettlebell, I learned how to use it via Youtube! The best informative videos are by a girl named Marianne, her channel is all about kettlebells from beginner to advanced. Her channel is http://www.youtube.com/user/Kitty8Tim and she also has a more informative website: http://www.myomytv.com . Check it out. You can get really cheap kettlebells at Wal - Mart (even cheaper at walmart.com) and you don't have to go to a gym to use them. Do it home all you need is some space and about an hour and you will have an awesome full body exercise! Try it and remember while your swinging your kettlebell to go strong no matter what!!! Bye guys!
So Wednesday my grandmother calls me to ask me what I want for Christmas, my reply, kettlebells. To which my grandmother responds kettle-what? What are you cooking (I come from a group of very domesticated kitchen-orientated women) and why would a kettle be shaped like a bell? I told her noooo nana a kettlebell is this exercise tool I use it is basically a canon ball with a handle. The Russians developed it to train their army and man is it a good training tool. Unlike dumbbells the kettlebell's center of mass is extended beyond the hand, allowing for swinging movements. What is so amazing about a kettlebell workout is it engages your core, strengthens your back, legs, shoulders and arms and is a resistance and cardio workout in one. For an hour's work you do what should have probably taken two hours.
I recommend the kettlebells to anyone a man or a woman. They vary in weight from 3lb all the way to 35lbs so as you get stronger all you have to do is move up in weight (i'm actually going to buy a 15lb kettlebell this week, I'm currently using a 10lbs one). You don't have to spend any money on videos to teach yourself how to use a kettlebell, I learned how to use it via Youtube! The best informative videos are by a girl named Marianne, her channel is all about kettlebells from beginner to advanced. Her channel is http://www.youtube.com/user/Kitty8Tim and she also has a more informative website: http://www.myomytv.com . Check it out. You can get really cheap kettlebells at Wal - Mart (even cheaper at walmart.com) and you don't have to go to a gym to use them. Do it home all you need is some space and about an hour and you will have an awesome full body exercise! Try it and remember while your swinging your kettlebell to go strong no matter what!!! Bye guys!
Having Support and Showing Support
I think I made a post once already about supporters and haters, but this is something that is going to come up over and over again and something happened this week in my life to make me reevaluate somethings.
First I wanna talk about my dad. I love the guy and he loves me and wants whats best for me, however i did not get his genes for being thin. The man is 59 years old, lives (i mean LIVES) off chocolate and has a waist size of 32. He has never been and probably will never be over weight. Which is amazing for him he doesn't have to worry about being fat (however that does not mean his eating habits are healthy, just because you are thin does not mean you can eat junk without it coming back to bite you.) So that being said, my daddy loved me at 430 pounds and thought I was his beautiful little girl and will love me at 200 pounds and still think I'm his beautiful little girl. He supports my weight loss, is proud of my motivation and accomplishment, but sometimes doesn't fully understand how hard it is. This week me and my parents went to Wal-Mart together, this is a rare occurrence, my dad is a truck driver and is usually away from home and I do the grocery shopping now that we are living healthier lives, but we are doing home renovations and we all needed to go to decide on paint colors and buy some stuff like that. Well as we were checking out my dad sees the movie theatre size boxes of candy on sale and decides to get three. He gets Whoppers (his favorite), Junior Mints (my moms favorite) and Milk Duds (my favorite), sweet right? He deserves a hug for thinking of us, right? Well yes and no. It is sweet, but it's also not very supportive. One box of Milk Duds like that has about 3 servings (17 candy pieces) for 170 calories per serving (not even gonna go into the fat) and it's full of preservatives (I no longer eat processed food if I can help it). All of which makes this a very bad treat for me, and I can say no to buying it no problem but once it's in my house I have trouble saying no. I was good, i had about 10 pieces and stopped, gave him back the box and said I didn't want to see it. I know it sounds mean, but it's one of my trigger foods and I absolutely HAVE to stay away from them. And when he didn't eat the box and put it in the freezer and left to go out of town for work I threw the box away.
So here is a man, that loves me, would die for me and says he is supportive but his actions prove otherwise. He wants me thin, fit and healthy, but like most of us shows his love through food. So if you're the person in any kind of relationship with someone trying to lose any amount of weight it is your responsibility to show your love by NOT tempting them. I would have much preferred a hug from my dad than the Milk Duds.
I have a really great support system I am so lucky in that because some people don't. This is very hard to do without a support system. If people in your life aren't receptive to you losing weight tell them to stop. I told my dad no more Milk Duds! If your husband still brings home bags and bags of chips and wont stop tell him to keep them in his car. He can eat them, but you can't be around them. Eventually they will learn to not bring trigger foods to you. I don't think it doesn't mean they don't love us, I just don't think they understand how hard it really is. If the people in your life are mean to you about your weight loss journey, use it to prove them wrong. I'm saying YOU CAN DO IT! If I've said it once I've said it a million times, I am not special, if I can lose weight so can you. Support is nice, but it is not necessary at the end of the day you're the one in the gym, in the kitchen and in your life making better choices. Live it to the fullest, get to out there and prove you're stronger than Milk Duds and the bags of chips in the world and always go strong no matter what!
First I wanna talk about my dad. I love the guy and he loves me and wants whats best for me, however i did not get his genes for being thin. The man is 59 years old, lives (i mean LIVES) off chocolate and has a waist size of 32. He has never been and probably will never be over weight. Which is amazing for him he doesn't have to worry about being fat (however that does not mean his eating habits are healthy, just because you are thin does not mean you can eat junk without it coming back to bite you.) So that being said, my daddy loved me at 430 pounds and thought I was his beautiful little girl and will love me at 200 pounds and still think I'm his beautiful little girl. He supports my weight loss, is proud of my motivation and accomplishment, but sometimes doesn't fully understand how hard it is. This week me and my parents went to Wal-Mart together, this is a rare occurrence, my dad is a truck driver and is usually away from home and I do the grocery shopping now that we are living healthier lives, but we are doing home renovations and we all needed to go to decide on paint colors and buy some stuff like that. Well as we were checking out my dad sees the movie theatre size boxes of candy on sale and decides to get three. He gets Whoppers (his favorite), Junior Mints (my moms favorite) and Milk Duds (my favorite), sweet right? He deserves a hug for thinking of us, right? Well yes and no. It is sweet, but it's also not very supportive. One box of Milk Duds like that has about 3 servings (17 candy pieces) for 170 calories per serving (not even gonna go into the fat) and it's full of preservatives (I no longer eat processed food if I can help it). All of which makes this a very bad treat for me, and I can say no to buying it no problem but once it's in my house I have trouble saying no. I was good, i had about 10 pieces and stopped, gave him back the box and said I didn't want to see it. I know it sounds mean, but it's one of my trigger foods and I absolutely HAVE to stay away from them. And when he didn't eat the box and put it in the freezer and left to go out of town for work I threw the box away.
So here is a man, that loves me, would die for me and says he is supportive but his actions prove otherwise. He wants me thin, fit and healthy, but like most of us shows his love through food. So if you're the person in any kind of relationship with someone trying to lose any amount of weight it is your responsibility to show your love by NOT tempting them. I would have much preferred a hug from my dad than the Milk Duds.
I have a really great support system I am so lucky in that because some people don't. This is very hard to do without a support system. If people in your life aren't receptive to you losing weight tell them to stop. I told my dad no more Milk Duds! If your husband still brings home bags and bags of chips and wont stop tell him to keep them in his car. He can eat them, but you can't be around them. Eventually they will learn to not bring trigger foods to you. I don't think it doesn't mean they don't love us, I just don't think they understand how hard it really is. If the people in your life are mean to you about your weight loss journey, use it to prove them wrong. I'm saying YOU CAN DO IT! If I've said it once I've said it a million times, I am not special, if I can lose weight so can you. Support is nice, but it is not necessary at the end of the day you're the one in the gym, in the kitchen and in your life making better choices. Live it to the fullest, get to out there and prove you're stronger than Milk Duds and the bags of chips in the world and always go strong no matter what!
Sunday, October 9, 2011
FOOOOOOOOD!!!!!!!!
Okay so yesterday was a rough emotional day, I cried a lot, stayed in on a Saturday night watched some tivo'd shows I'd been meaning to catch up on and totally ate bad food. Right? NOPE. Even though yesterday was a rough day for me (it is always rough when I'm having issues with my family) and I vegged out in front of the TV, the vegging did not include massive amounts of junk food. For this I think i deserve an award. In the past a day like yesterday I would have baked cookies, eaten ice cream, made home made high sugar lattes, probably even baked some cupcakes,because not only am I stress eater I am also a stress cooker. And I'm a good cook at that, so you want a fancy 1,000 calorie dessert I am your girl, of course that lead to waaaaay more girl than was really needed. So today lets talk about food, the good about it, the bad about it, the necessary about it, and the lies about food.
Alright who here reading this blog has dieted, is on a diet, thinks they need to lose weight, or is thinking about starting a diet? I'm gonna guess just about everyone, because just about everyone whose dominate language is English is probably unhappy with their weight. Why is that? Simply, we have lots of access to food and we eat a lot, thus making us fat. Pretty simple. Without getting into the genetics of everything (because as a scientist I fully believe some people are more prone to be heavier than others regardless of diet) I am going to talk about our relationships with food and how we can have a healthier one.
Did you know that prior to the the 1500's in Europe a peasant (which most people were peasants) ate meat maybe once or twice a year? It's true, now tell me how often have you had a piece of meat just today. In this time period fairy tales weren't about money, they were about food. One of the most popular German fairy tales of 1515 was about a girl who discovers a magic blanket in the forest and every time she opened it a feast was laid before her. Why is this? Food was a luxury item (like BMW's are for us today). Imagine this same girl walking into a super market that we shop in every day, with this abundance of food? Can you imagine her reaction? Is it any wonder most Americans are over weight? Our entire lives revolve around food. In the past I've talked about eating healthy and eating often, but do we really understand what eating healthy is? Most of us probably do not.
I've talked a lot about the learning curve in my weight loss, I learned efficient work outs and I've slowly but surely learned to eat. Below is pretty much how I relearned how to eat.
First easy step, start with portion control, anytime you watch a chef on TV they tell you to make the food pretty because we eat with our eyes first right? Well this is true with portions. I eat off smaller paper plates (about 12 inches in circumference). My plate looks fuller with less food, this is an easy way to trick my brain into thinking we are eating more than we actually are, it works trust me. Also do not fill your plate, mentally break your plate into quarters and fill each quarter about half way. Eat what's on your plate. Still hungry when your plate is empty wait 8-10 minuets before going back for seconds. This gives your stomach enough time to tell your brain whether you are actually full, if you still want more after that 8-10 minutes go get about a quarter as much as you got the first round and then i bet you will be really full with out being stuffed.
Second, keep a food journal. Don't tell me you can't, because you can, it is not hard especially if you have a smart phone. There is an app for that. I use a free one, that only counts my food. Then I use one online that counts my food and my exercise, so i know exactly how many calories I am burning. If it is in black and white you are less likely to over indulge or forget how many calories are in something. At first it is a little tedious, but like anything it becomes habit and it is a good habit to have while you re-learn how to eat. Remember there are 3,500 calories in one pound of body fat so in order to lose one pound a week you must have a caloric deficit of 500 calories a day (7x500=3500 calories = 1 pound) if your goal is two pounds you must burn a 1,000 calories a day (this is typically my goal.) You need to know your Basal Metabolic Rate* (the amount of calories you would burn if you laid in bed all day and did not move) to know how many calories to burn to lose weight. My BMR right now is 1,921 calories, this is what my body burns on it's own running my organs. So I round down to 1,900 (easier math), say i eat 2,200 calories a day that buts me at +300 calories that means in order to lose two pounds for the week i need to burn 1,300 calories for me this is about an hour and half work out. GREAT gotta do this seven days a week, boo, which is why logically we work harder some days and burn more calories than others. Hence the food journal, helps you keep track of it all.
Third, avoid food label buzz words. If you are just starting out, focus on calories. Organic is NOT lower in calories than non-organic. So an organic egg is going to have 90 calories, a non-organic, hormone loaded egg is also going to have 90 calories. Remember in an earlier post I talked about baby steps, well focusing on calories is a baby step in your diet. Organic, is great, multi-grain is great, but ONLY if they actually have less calories than their counter parts. Learn to read your labels, our tax dollars go to enforcing those labels for a reason. In a post in the future I will talk about getting the most nutrient filled calories you can get, but for today lets just focus on counting okay :).
Fourth, lets learn to cook. Learn to make your own meals. Firstly you will save money, think about how much money you spend buying lunch at work weekly, lets say you're cheap and only spend seven bucks a day 7X5=35 dollars a week. Take your lunch, i bet you can take a sandwich and soup for around 3 bucks a day (or salad, or hey make dinner and take left over dinner and then it's free because you cook dinner anyway) 3X5=15 that is a savings of 20 bucks a week 20X52 (52 weeks in a year)= 1,040 dollars saved a year! So you're slimming your waistline and saving money to replace your fat jeans! I think the best cooking show on Food Network for those of us trying to get thin or maintain being thin is called Hungry Girl. She has so many tricks and swaps and I have learned so much from her. Google her! She is awesome and has awesome easy recipes. Don't be afraid to experiment! Try some tofu in your enchiladas instead of beef (I like it!) if you don't like it okay, but who knows maybe you will!
Fifth, it is okay to indulge. Do you want a cookie? Eat a cookie, just don't eat the whole dozen. Want some ice cream go to an ice cream shop and buy some. I do recommend baking your own treats, it makes it easier to control what is in them and preservatives are not our friends okay?
Sixth, if it is made in a refinery it belongs in our car not our bodies. Splenda and other artificial sweeteners doctors are learning are particularly bad for diabetics (it makes it hard for them to maintain static glucose levels). So if you are diabetic, the sweetener you should get is Truvia (made from the stevia plant, don't worry they have off brands also). This is much easier on a diabetics body, than the artificial stuff. If you aren't diabetic you can have real sugar, just not a lot of it, keep it between 4-6grams okay? (Again read your labels).
So what are we gonna do? Keep our portions small! Don't over eat, I used to eat so much and I am now amazed at how small my portions are becoming , last night dinner consisted of half a ham and chicken sandwich and 30 sweet potato fries, which was a serving size and I was full. My dog got the benefit of my other half of a sandwich. We were both very happy with this outcome. Second count your calories, learn how much your putting in and how much you are working off. Third don't believe everything you read, just because the labeling looks healthy does not mean it is. Fourth, cooking is fun! Learn to take control of the food in your life and make you some healthy options. Fifth, don't deny yourself everything, if you don't treat your self sometimes you will be very grumpy and no one likes to be grumpy. Fifth eat what nature makes, not a chemist (this is true for the trans fats also), if its natural our bodies know how to deal with it and it makes easier to burn off. Remember food is not the enemy, it is okay to love food, we just have to learn how to love it in a healthy way. So remember to always go strong no matter what in finding your healthy balance in your food relationships!
* Great calculator for BMR - http://www.bmi-calculator.net/bmr-calculator/
Alright who here reading this blog has dieted, is on a diet, thinks they need to lose weight, or is thinking about starting a diet? I'm gonna guess just about everyone, because just about everyone whose dominate language is English is probably unhappy with their weight. Why is that? Simply, we have lots of access to food and we eat a lot, thus making us fat. Pretty simple. Without getting into the genetics of everything (because as a scientist I fully believe some people are more prone to be heavier than others regardless of diet) I am going to talk about our relationships with food and how we can have a healthier one.
Did you know that prior to the the 1500's in Europe a peasant (which most people were peasants) ate meat maybe once or twice a year? It's true, now tell me how often have you had a piece of meat just today. In this time period fairy tales weren't about money, they were about food. One of the most popular German fairy tales of 1515 was about a girl who discovers a magic blanket in the forest and every time she opened it a feast was laid before her. Why is this? Food was a luxury item (like BMW's are for us today). Imagine this same girl walking into a super market that we shop in every day, with this abundance of food? Can you imagine her reaction? Is it any wonder most Americans are over weight? Our entire lives revolve around food. In the past I've talked about eating healthy and eating often, but do we really understand what eating healthy is? Most of us probably do not.
I've talked a lot about the learning curve in my weight loss, I learned efficient work outs and I've slowly but surely learned to eat. Below is pretty much how I relearned how to eat.
First easy step, start with portion control, anytime you watch a chef on TV they tell you to make the food pretty because we eat with our eyes first right? Well this is true with portions. I eat off smaller paper plates (about 12 inches in circumference). My plate looks fuller with less food, this is an easy way to trick my brain into thinking we are eating more than we actually are, it works trust me. Also do not fill your plate, mentally break your plate into quarters and fill each quarter about half way. Eat what's on your plate. Still hungry when your plate is empty wait 8-10 minuets before going back for seconds. This gives your stomach enough time to tell your brain whether you are actually full, if you still want more after that 8-10 minutes go get about a quarter as much as you got the first round and then i bet you will be really full with out being stuffed.
Second, keep a food journal. Don't tell me you can't, because you can, it is not hard especially if you have a smart phone. There is an app for that. I use a free one, that only counts my food. Then I use one online that counts my food and my exercise, so i know exactly how many calories I am burning. If it is in black and white you are less likely to over indulge or forget how many calories are in something. At first it is a little tedious, but like anything it becomes habit and it is a good habit to have while you re-learn how to eat. Remember there are 3,500 calories in one pound of body fat so in order to lose one pound a week you must have a caloric deficit of 500 calories a day (7x500=3500 calories = 1 pound) if your goal is two pounds you must burn a 1,000 calories a day (this is typically my goal.) You need to know your Basal Metabolic Rate* (the amount of calories you would burn if you laid in bed all day and did not move) to know how many calories to burn to lose weight. My BMR right now is 1,921 calories, this is what my body burns on it's own running my organs. So I round down to 1,900 (easier math), say i eat 2,200 calories a day that buts me at +300 calories that means in order to lose two pounds for the week i need to burn 1,300 calories for me this is about an hour and half work out. GREAT gotta do this seven days a week, boo, which is why logically we work harder some days and burn more calories than others. Hence the food journal, helps you keep track of it all.
Third, avoid food label buzz words. If you are just starting out, focus on calories. Organic is NOT lower in calories than non-organic. So an organic egg is going to have 90 calories, a non-organic, hormone loaded egg is also going to have 90 calories. Remember in an earlier post I talked about baby steps, well focusing on calories is a baby step in your diet. Organic, is great, multi-grain is great, but ONLY if they actually have less calories than their counter parts. Learn to read your labels, our tax dollars go to enforcing those labels for a reason. In a post in the future I will talk about getting the most nutrient filled calories you can get, but for today lets just focus on counting okay :).
Fourth, lets learn to cook. Learn to make your own meals. Firstly you will save money, think about how much money you spend buying lunch at work weekly, lets say you're cheap and only spend seven bucks a day 7X5=35 dollars a week. Take your lunch, i bet you can take a sandwich and soup for around 3 bucks a day (or salad, or hey make dinner and take left over dinner and then it's free because you cook dinner anyway) 3X5=15 that is a savings of 20 bucks a week 20X52 (52 weeks in a year)= 1,040 dollars saved a year! So you're slimming your waistline and saving money to replace your fat jeans! I think the best cooking show on Food Network for those of us trying to get thin or maintain being thin is called Hungry Girl. She has so many tricks and swaps and I have learned so much from her. Google her! She is awesome and has awesome easy recipes. Don't be afraid to experiment! Try some tofu in your enchiladas instead of beef (I like it!) if you don't like it okay, but who knows maybe you will!
Fifth, it is okay to indulge. Do you want a cookie? Eat a cookie, just don't eat the whole dozen. Want some ice cream go to an ice cream shop and buy some. I do recommend baking your own treats, it makes it easier to control what is in them and preservatives are not our friends okay?
Sixth, if it is made in a refinery it belongs in our car not our bodies. Splenda and other artificial sweeteners doctors are learning are particularly bad for diabetics (it makes it hard for them to maintain static glucose levels). So if you are diabetic, the sweetener you should get is Truvia (made from the stevia plant, don't worry they have off brands also). This is much easier on a diabetics body, than the artificial stuff. If you aren't diabetic you can have real sugar, just not a lot of it, keep it between 4-6grams okay? (Again read your labels).
So what are we gonna do? Keep our portions small! Don't over eat, I used to eat so much and I am now amazed at how small my portions are becoming , last night dinner consisted of half a ham and chicken sandwich and 30 sweet potato fries, which was a serving size and I was full. My dog got the benefit of my other half of a sandwich. We were both very happy with this outcome. Second count your calories, learn how much your putting in and how much you are working off. Third don't believe everything you read, just because the labeling looks healthy does not mean it is. Fourth, cooking is fun! Learn to take control of the food in your life and make you some healthy options. Fifth, don't deny yourself everything, if you don't treat your self sometimes you will be very grumpy and no one likes to be grumpy. Fifth eat what nature makes, not a chemist (this is true for the trans fats also), if its natural our bodies know how to deal with it and it makes easier to burn off. Remember food is not the enemy, it is okay to love food, we just have to learn how to love it in a healthy way. So remember to always go strong no matter what in finding your healthy balance in your food relationships!
* Great calculator for BMR - http://www.bmi-calculator.net/bmr-calculator/
Saturday, October 8, 2011
Being Selfish
Hey guys, soo it's been forever since I updated, I'm having Internet problems at home, but I'm hoping they will be fixed by Monday so I can update more often. So much has happened this week and I'm like " I wanna blog about this" and then can't get online so yeah, here is to fixed Internet!
So yesterday my mom and I are driving to the pool to swim laps for an hour and she made a comment that I was self-centered, talk about hurting my feelings! It's okay though she was a little bit right, because in order to make the changes I have made in my life I need to be a little bit self centered. No one else can go to the gym for me, do the work for me, deal with the pain of sore muscles and muscle pulls for me, nor can they truly benefit from the success for me. Beyond appreciating the aesthetic no one can feel my heart pumping better, or the pain free long walks but me.
Unfortunately I am the type of person that has a very hard time saying no, I also have a lot of responsibilities. Flat out I am never home and I love that, but of course this causes problems at home (don't worry i have no children I am neglecting, just parents who feel neglected at times). I love spending hours on end in the gym, I love helping my friends with their workout goals, pushing them and them pushing me. I love my jobs and I love to work hard and play hard. Just like my new body, my new attitude on life is going to have some growing pains.
The biggest difference I feel in my life is I feel like I am finally living my life for myself, and I don't think I have ever done that before. Of course we can't 100% be all about ourselves all the time we all have people in our lives we take care of, but we cannot allow that care taking to rule our lives. Maybe one of the reasons I got so big is because I did not care enough about me to change it.
This post maybe a little to harsh and brutal to put on the Internet, but I refuse to sugar coat this journey. Just like when I was big if you didn't like how i looked you are more than welcome to look in the other direction, now it's if you don't like my attitude you don't have to hang around me. I think the easiest part to losing weight is the actual losing of the weight, that's just a scientific calculation, it's all the emotional, social stuff that I am struggling with. Nothing in life that is worth doing is easy. My favorite quote is from Saint Catherine of Siena "Nothing great is ever achieved without much enduring." This is so true, this journey wouldn't be worth it without all the pain, sweat and tears. So just remember to go strong no matter what, I know I am.
So yesterday my mom and I are driving to the pool to swim laps for an hour and she made a comment that I was self-centered, talk about hurting my feelings! It's okay though she was a little bit right, because in order to make the changes I have made in my life I need to be a little bit self centered. No one else can go to the gym for me, do the work for me, deal with the pain of sore muscles and muscle pulls for me, nor can they truly benefit from the success for me. Beyond appreciating the aesthetic no one can feel my heart pumping better, or the pain free long walks but me.
Unfortunately I am the type of person that has a very hard time saying no, I also have a lot of responsibilities. Flat out I am never home and I love that, but of course this causes problems at home (don't worry i have no children I am neglecting, just parents who feel neglected at times). I love spending hours on end in the gym, I love helping my friends with their workout goals, pushing them and them pushing me. I love my jobs and I love to work hard and play hard. Just like my new body, my new attitude on life is going to have some growing pains.
The biggest difference I feel in my life is I feel like I am finally living my life for myself, and I don't think I have ever done that before. Of course we can't 100% be all about ourselves all the time we all have people in our lives we take care of, but we cannot allow that care taking to rule our lives. Maybe one of the reasons I got so big is because I did not care enough about me to change it.
This post maybe a little to harsh and brutal to put on the Internet, but I refuse to sugar coat this journey. Just like when I was big if you didn't like how i looked you are more than welcome to look in the other direction, now it's if you don't like my attitude you don't have to hang around me. I think the easiest part to losing weight is the actual losing of the weight, that's just a scientific calculation, it's all the emotional, social stuff that I am struggling with. Nothing in life that is worth doing is easy. My favorite quote is from Saint Catherine of Siena "Nothing great is ever achieved without much enduring." This is so true, this journey wouldn't be worth it without all the pain, sweat and tears. So just remember to go strong no matter what, I know I am.
Saturday, October 1, 2011
Having Fun and Learning to No Longer be the Fat Girl
Oh my gosh, it has been five days since I posted something, I suck. In my defence I have added an hours worth of lap swimming to my workout routine and have been EXHAUSTED at the end of the day, but none the less I will do better I promise!
This is not what I want to talk about today, I want to talk about my night out last night. So me and to of my best girl friends (sorority sisters actually) went out of town for an evening to celebrate one of us moving to Japan. We went to the Riverwalk in San Antonio and had an amazing time at the end of the night we ended up at this amazing little bar. There were two really cute guys at the end of the bar and they bought me and one of my friends (the other is pregnant so no drinking for her) drinks. At one point me and my friend (who is a beautiful size 6) got up to dance (we were very tipsy and just having fun) well one of the guys comes over to us to dance and I automatically assume he wants to dance with her, because fat girl mentality, who would want to dance with me? Well he did want to dance with me. Of course he should, I am pretty, fun and who wouldn't want to spend time with me.
So I've gotten a lot of the weight off and now I need to work on my confidence. I need to believe that a guy might want to dance three songs with me and buy me drinks (even though i didn't give him my number, still to shy) and put myself out there a little bit more. Like the weight loss, the confidence will come in time! :) So I'm going to continue to go strong no matter what!
This is not what I want to talk about today, I want to talk about my night out last night. So me and to of my best girl friends (sorority sisters actually) went out of town for an evening to celebrate one of us moving to Japan. We went to the Riverwalk in San Antonio and had an amazing time at the end of the night we ended up at this amazing little bar. There were two really cute guys at the end of the bar and they bought me and one of my friends (the other is pregnant so no drinking for her) drinks. At one point me and my friend (who is a beautiful size 6) got up to dance (we were very tipsy and just having fun) well one of the guys comes over to us to dance and I automatically assume he wants to dance with her, because fat girl mentality, who would want to dance with me? Well he did want to dance with me. Of course he should, I am pretty, fun and who wouldn't want to spend time with me.
So I've gotten a lot of the weight off and now I need to work on my confidence. I need to believe that a guy might want to dance three songs with me and buy me drinks (even though i didn't give him my number, still to shy) and put myself out there a little bit more. Like the weight loss, the confidence will come in time! :) So I'm going to continue to go strong no matter what!
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