So it's been months since I've posted anything new! I guess life got busy? One of my best friends is getting married in two weeks and that has taken a lot of time, I now work out with a kettlebell trainer 3 times a week in addition to all the other exercising I do. Mom had surgery (came through it like a trooper) and my personal life (boys) is still has hectic as ever!
That is actually what led me to do today's blog. Unfortunately I am not the type of person that can just blog everyday about nothing. I kind of use my blog as a free therapist so something has to bug me in order to blog about it.
We are officially at the two year mark of my weight loss journey, I'm down 215 lbs, lord knows how many inches, from a size 32 jeans to a size 14/16 jeans and from 3x shirt to a size medium shirt. I can now borrow clothes from most of my girlfriends and I feel better, stronger, there is still a lot I can't do (namely correct lunges and my squats need to get much better) and a whole lot I want to accomplish as I work off the last 50-80 lbs (like push ups ON MY TOES and a pull up and pistol and a Turkish get up) but what I can do now is far from what I could do two years ago.
So a couple of nights ago I was talking to a guy that I have been seeing on and off through out my entire weight loss journey and he said something that shocked me. When I met him I had probably lost maybe 30 or 40 lbs I was still big, very big in comparison to how I look now, I was in size 28 jeans when I met him (and proud of it at the time!) , so a couple of nights ago he tells me "I'm proud of what you have accomplished but I loved how you looked when we first met". I was blown away.
You would think being told this would be a great thing, an 'oh he really likes me for me' type thing. It really wasn't though. When you truly care for someone you want what is best for them, and me being that big was not what was best for me. My really smart, good friend (who can't stand the guy cause he makes me cry a lot ) said he doesn't miss how you looked, he misses your lower self confidence. Now maybe she's right, or maybe she's not. I don't know, honestly whatever reason he like me more at 390 than he does at 215 doesn't matter, what matters is that he doesn't care about what is best for me. This is why loving a person with a weight problem is so hard.
When they are big how do you be encouraging without being mean? When they start losing weight how do you handle what happens with the physical change?
It has to be hard for a man how is married or in a committed relationship watch his woman lose weight, because every one that does it comes out of their shell a little bit. How should you handle it? Just love the person, let her go buy that short, hot dress and then offer to take her to the movies and show her off. She loves you, she's not doing this to find another man, she's doing it so she looks and feels good for you and more importantly for herself.
How do you help your girl or guy who needs to get healthy? Start being healthy yourself, you can't make ANYONE change their lifestyle, you can however change yours and lead by example.
I've always said all along i am not doing this because of how I look. Honestly at 400 pounds i had an EASIER time getting men it seems than I do now, but it's about me and my health. So even though I really care for this guy, I care for me more and I have be in a relationship with myself for way longer. I'll never go back to being unhealthy for anyone, because this is something I'm doing for myself and I'll always go strong no matter what!
